My Divided Heart

Lush is amazing. Have you ever traveled to the foreign land? You know you’re there when your head starts to go a little fuzzy after a while because of the strong smells and the constant fear of the staff coming up to talk to you, but it’s honestly like a trip out of England!

The workers are positioned all over the shop with big plastered on smiles and eagle eyes that watch out for signs of weakness so that they can swoop over and force you into buying bullshit you don’t need. It’s honestly a ball ache of an experience for an introvert like me who hates chit chat and small talk.

When shopping I have to walk past the open doors of the wonderland that is Lush and get smacked in the face with the enticing smell of thousands of bath and shower products I don’t fucking need at least three times before I work up the patience and energy to step foot inside the place.

Because you just know that some girl who smells like the literal fucking rainforest and who’s just had a shower using a pure banana for shampoo and just mushed it straight into her hair is going to pounce on you! She’s going to ask you what you’re looking for before you even have a chance to know what you’re looking for because you haven’t even seen the interior of the shop yet cause you’re still stood on the pavement outside. That’s how fucking eager they are, they’re trained like that though.

I’ve always wanted to work at Lush but I just could not stomach the idea of a drama class where we fake interactions with pretend customers. It’s simply not my cup of tea. However I’d love to know what all the ingredients in the products do and the properties they have. I find that really interesting and as a vegetarian, wanna-be vegan and cruelty free products user I really find Lush a marvellous place. I just think that they should split the shop in half or have designated quiet times for us peeps who have no desire to socialise with anyone, let alone bubbly Lush workers who spurt fountains of knowledge about all the magical qualities of a single pinch of lavender. (I’m sure according to a Lush employee one sniff of Lavender and you’ll be so calm you’ll sleep for a week.) I have a couple of favourite Lush necessities, but when I walk into Lush all I need is what I need. Lets cut the bullshit Lush and give me all the strong scented sloppy shit in pots and simply let me walk away.

So consequently my heart is indeed divided when it comes to Lush. I love using their products and experimenting with different bath time combinations but sometimes I cannot fucking stand the quest of actually obtaining the products. Do they have fucking home delivery or something? Because that might be an area that they may need to invest in for us introverts who seriously do not need added stress on an already stressful shopping trip.

It’s honestly an odd experience for me, as a Brit. I have never visited America and this is how I imagine it would be; constant unnecessary conversations with strangers. As a wee English lass I am not used to shopkeepers smiling, they honestly usually look miserable. Which is understandable because they’re stuck at work. But Lush is a literal foreign land. I feel like I don’t know the language. I’m not good at spontaneous conversation, I usually have to plan and prepare myself for interaction with another human being.

And do you know what?! I think they purposely don’t put up clear signs. They keep everything in the same font and colour so that if you’re not an expert in navigating Lush or haven’t been trained in the art of battling through the landscape then you are forced into easily getting confused. This makes you an easy target for a Lush employee to spring upon you and get you to smell everything possible in the shop.

However their website is pretty awesome as well as their Instagram where you can keep updated on what’s coming to your local Lush. Plus their projects are awesome, for example at the moment they have facts about essential oils and a feature on how to stop ocean plastics. So I LOVE where their heart is and their awesomeness when it comes to veganism and cruelty free! But my one downside is they’re too fucking friendly for an introvert like me. Which I know sounds hilarious and arsey to my own ears! But there you go.

Love Eliza xxx

This blog post was written on the 29th of April at 5:01pm to Milky Chance ‘Cocoon’ and ‘Flashed Junk Mind’. Much to my two doggos annoyance as it was in fact their dinner time.

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